February 9, 2018

My Journey to God

A Light in the Fog

As I watched them lower her into the ground
all I could think of or feel was hurt.
It hurt.
Decades of sermons and lessons and prayers and songs
all evaporated, and their dew drops formed
a thick fog of disillusionment and despair.
The fog continued for a time, times, and half a time.
Somehow there was a voice there in the fog,
but I couldn’t/wouldn’t listen.
Finally one day I did.
“Jesus wept” was all it said.
“Why?” I asked in response.
“Because it hurt” the voice said.
I was taken in my mind to John 11:35
where the loss of Lazarus moved Jesus to tears.
I was taken in my mind to an earlier scene,
where an elderly Joseph passed away in Jesus’ arms,
with Mary at his side.
Jesus and Mary wept there too, because it hurt.
I realized that pain of separation is normal
and a sign of love and value.
Without hurt the relationship had no meaning
and no one would weep at its loss.
In 1 Corinthians 15:22 Paul said that one day
all “will be made alive” again.
And slowly but surely, rays of light dispersed the fog.

By Sonny Shanks
 

(Sonny Shanks is a member of St. Joseph Parish in Corydon.)

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