Catholic couples use faith and science in their struggle to overcome infertility
Dr. Melanie Margiotta, right, holds the hand of Benjamin Lam, second from left, while his parents, Carlos and Judy Lam, and his little brother, Oliver, visit Margiotta on Feb. 11 at her office in Indianapolis. Margiotta is the “NFP-only” family physician for the Lam family. Another NFP-only physician, who received training at the Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha, Neb., successfully corrected Judy’s endometriosis, which had caused infertility. (Photo by Sean Gallagher)
By Sean Gallagher
First of two parts
Bioethical issues related to the treatment of infertility have been making big news recently.
They serve as the backdrop for such events as President Barack Obama’s March 9 reversal of a ban on federal funding of embryonic stem-cell research, and the octuplets born on Jan. 26 to Nadya Suleman in California, who is now the mother of 14 children, all conceived through in vitro fertilization.
Behind such headline-grabbing stories are many married couples struggling with infertility, who are open to the gift of life but have not yet been blessed with a child.
Scientific developments over the past few decades have offered many treatments and procedures to couples to overcome their condition and thus be able to bring a child into the world.
But as tempting and ubiquitous as they may be, some Catholic couples have chosen to forgo them because they are convinced of the truth of the Church’s teachings on bioethical matters.
They believe that procedures like in vitro fertilization show a profound disrespect for the dignity due to each human person and the role of sexuality in marriage.
This does not mean, however, that they have rejected science in favor of faith.
Harmony between faith and science
From the time they were married in 1999, Carlos and Judy Lam, members of St. Matthew the Apostle Parish in Indianapolis, were convinced of the truth and beauty of the Church’s teaching on natural family planning.
In 2001, they experienced difficulty when they started trying to conceive a child.
“Infertility is an emotional roller coaster as each month is filled with hope followed by disappointment,” Judy said. “During the low times, it was more tempting to think about illicit measures as a potential fix, but I knew we wouldn’t really pursue them.
“We knew that IVF [in vitro fertilization] is morally wrong for a variety of reasons as outlined by the Church. I guess that my basic philosophy was that two wrongs don’t make a right. Correcting the ‘wrong’ of infertility in an immoral way wouldn’t ultimately make us feel better.”
Later in 2001, Judy started being treated by Dr. Jason Mattingly, a physician practicing near Indianapolis at the time. He not only was a doctor who refused to prescribe artificial birth control medicines (sometimes described as an “NFP-only doctor”), but had received special training in treating infertility at the Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha, Neb.
Under the leadership of Dr. Thomas Hilgers, the institute has made many advances in treating infertility in ways that are in harmony with Church teaching.
One is the Creighton model of natural family planning, which can help identify the underlying causes of infertility.
Judy eventually learned that she had endometriosis, a condition where cells that are ordinarily only in a woman’s uterus are found outside in other areas of her body. It can sometimes be a cause of infertility.
She and Carlos were so committed to being treated by NFP-only doctors that they drove several times to Lake County in northwestern Indiana to have Judy treated by Dr. Mark Stegman, who eventually corrected Judy’s endometriosis through a special laparoscopic surgical technique developed at the Pope Paul VI Institute.
“Before she was wheeled into surgery, Dr. Stegman, my wife and I all prayed together,” Carlos said. “He wasn’t just relying on his own talents and his own skill. He was asking God to come and be with him to be the best doctor that he could be.
“Someone who is humble enough to realize his own limitations is someone who is going to be a lot more careful and who is going to do a lot more for his patients than he ever could on his own.”
Through being treated over several years by NFP-only doctors trained at the Pope Paul VI Institute, Judy has come to see how science and the Catholic faith can be brought into harmony.
“Of all the infertility treatments I’m familiar with, the Creighton model seems the most advanced,” she said. “Many other fertility doctors take a Band-Aid approach—putting women on the [birth control] pill, for example, to relieve menstrual problems without getting to the root cause of the problems to actually solve them.
“The Creighton method is much more thorough in its examination of the woman’s cycle and the potential dysfunctions associated with it, and it’s in keeping with Church teachings.”
After Judy’s successful surgery in 2004, she and Carlos were blessed with the gift of life and welcomed their son, Benjamin, into the world in January 2006.
“It was completely miraculous,” Judy said. “I really couldn’t believe that we had a child at that point after all that. We were so grateful.”
It may have been miraculous in more ways than one. After Pope John Paul II died on April 2, 2005, Judy and Carlos started seeking his intercession so that they might be able to conceive a child.
About six weeks later on May 18, they learned that Judy was pregnant. May 18 also happened to be the birthday of the deceased pontiff.
More recently, Judy has been treated by Dr. Melanie Margiotta, an NFP-only physician who practices medicine in Indianapolis at the Kolbe Center, which she named after St. Maximilian Kolbe. She is also receiving training at the Pope Paul VI Institute.
Carlos and Judy have recently been blessed with their second child, Oliver, who was born last December.
An unknown future
Carlos and Judy Lam overcame their infertility and are the parents of two young sons.
Rob and Caris Roller, members of Our Lady of the Most Holy Rosary Parish in Indianapolis, are at the beginning stages of having their infertility treated by Margiotta.
Married in 2003, they welcomed their daughter, Moire, into the world a year later.
However, three months after giving birth, Caris had a surgery that she believes may have brought about her current state of infertility.
She is now undergoing a series of tests under the care and direction of Margiotta to try to determine the underlying cause of her infertility.
Rob and Caris are hopeful that they will be able to conceive another child, but they realize that, as advanced as the treatments developed at the Pope Paul VI Institute are, it’s no guarantee of success.
“God [has been] saying, ‘Wait,’ ” Caris said. “ … And I’ve been patient. But I’ve also wanted to not just be sitting twiddling my thumbs, waiting for a miracle.
“He wants me to be working toward something and learning something. But if we don’t happen to conceive out of this, I know that it’s not in vain that he’s inspired us to take this route.”
“We’re both very hopeful,” Rob said. “Of course, we’re going through the method to try and use science to kind of increase our chances of [conception] … without disobeying God in the process.”
In their mid-30s, Rob and Caris are Catholic young adults who have had an interest in learning the Church’s teachings for a long time.
It’s one thing to learn them. It’s another thing to live them, especially in a difficult circumstance like infertility.
“It’s all intellectual until it’s you,” Rob said. “But I don’t think that changes our outlook on it. … Anything that we might desire, as in to have another child, has to be balanced against what evil we might inadvertently cause.
“ … We simply know that we couldn’t, for the benefit of having another child, have the detriment of however many lost embryos [through in vitro fertilization]—lost lives, to put it on a finer point.”
In any case, Caris knows that learning the Creighton method will benefit her throughout her life, and give her abundant knowledge about her own body and fertility.
“This is not just about this time in my life,” she said. “This is going to help me if I ever have an ovarian cyst. I’ll know it right away if I know this program. It’s my whole fertility. I’ll be the first to know.”
(To learn more about the Pope Paul VI Institute, log on to www.popepaulvi.com. To learn more about Dr. Melanie Margiotta and the Kolbe Center, log on to www.kolbecenter.com.)
(Next week: Profiles of NFP-only doctors in the archdiocese.) †
